A Foster Care Q&A

She poured her coffee and I sipped mine.
“What’s new with you?“, she asked as she leaned against the counter in the small kitchenette. Talk about a loaded question, I thought.
So, she got the bombshell: “We are becoming foster parents.”
I poured out the words that were still light on my lips but so heavy on my heart and waited to see how she would react.

//Foster care. Biological parents. Abuse & neglect. Reunification. Families helping families//

You see, some people look confused when they hear these words and our choice to give our family for the sake of others. They (understandably) don’t know what to say. Others encourage us and smile. Others cringe. But not her.
After what seemed like forever, she simply met my eyes and said,

“I don’t understand. Could you explain what that means for you?”

She didn’t pretend to know everything about us and our motivation to foster. She didn’t give rude advice based on her own personal lens or immediately jump to a horror story of another foster family. SHE ASKED. This, my friends, was like fresh air for my tired lungs. Grace in the form of a question.

If you’re reading this post, chances are that you know someone (possibly me) who has decided to take the crazy leap into becoming a foster parent and advocating for vulnerable children and families. And you, unsuspecting family member or friend, have been left reeling to be supportive in the wake of a huge decision that you might not fully understand yet.

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“I never learn anything talking. I only learn things when I ask questions.”
Lou Holtz

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Over the last year, we have been motivated to pin down answers to some big questions like:

• “What do we want our family to be about?”
• “What does it truly mean to welcome the stranger, help the poor, and father the orphan?”
• “Do our daily actions and choices for ourselves and our future family line up with what we say we believe?”
• “What do we have that we can use solely for the good of others?

Answering these questions and listening to God eventually led us to learn more about Foster Care. We sought out people with experience and asked questions of them. We googled. We read. We watched. We sought to understand and with each answered question this calling has become more clear. Our hope is that by asking questions, you too will gain a better understanding of what this journey means for us…and for you.

This is your standing invitation to ask us anything about foster care.
I believe questions helps us wrestle with what we believe and realize who we really are. Our questions expose our fears, our faith, our doubts, our lack, and our passions. Good things begin to grow when we are bold enough to ask important questions and brave enough to humbly listen to the answers.

Let’s come together to have a better understanding of what this journey might look like. So, here’s your shot. Ask us anything about this journey. Ask about Foster Care and the Child Welfare system or ask more specific and personal questions about our journey as foster parents and we will do the best we can to answer them in a way that is helpful.

Our license was officially opened on Monday, December 18 and we are so thankful for our many family members, friends, and supporters who are willing to invest in us as we invest in families.

The more we seek to understand, the better we can give ourselves on behalf of the children and families who are in need. The better we can support each other. The better we can be human in a world that needs some healing and hope.

Ask away. 

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